For many days I've been searching for the answer on how to trust the Lord.
Cos no matter what i did, i didn't seem to be able to trust him.
But this is what happen at Devotion to St Annthony today.
I had a real tangible experience with God.

I went to church with a burning desire. I went up the stairs like every other day. But something was wrong with my legs. It brought me forward and made me sat at Pew number 8.
Maybe it was God who didn't want me to sit at Pew number 8, he then made me look around.
I looked and saw the 'choir' which consisted of devoted elderlys, 2 of them.
They sat even though they knew that they wouldn't be loud.
But i guess to them, they trusted him to make them loud.
The next thing i knew, my heart told me..Join them.
At first i was kind of reluctant, but i did.
They saw me, and they felt happy.
But you know what..I was happier.

Devotion started, followed by the mass.
Even though it was like every other tuesday but today, it was different.
I felt this immense presence of the holy spirit.
I felt it coming through me, giving me this wonderful tingling sensation.
The aunty beside me looked troubled, she had just asked me to pray for her ytd.
I dunno what was happening but i just found myself stretching out my hands praying for her.
But doing it in such a way that it was discreet.

Then it came to a part where the priest blessed the bread..
For months i have been thinking, been asking God.
"what does it contain that makes it so different so special from other bread..it still flour right"
And when he was splashing the Holy Water on it, the word LOVE came to my heart.
It was the answer to my long awaited question.
The bread contained God's love.
The bread was donated by this person who love his church.
And which it was the Love of God that make him donate faithfully every week.
So in other words, the bread we received is like a token of love from our God above.

I felt so happy.
I never felt so joyful in my entire life.
Even as i was taking that same old lonely road home again, God made me realised that what i really walked on was a road full of his love, and full of his presence.
He made it such that i felt that he was there standing next to me.
In that beautiful moment, i sort of sang and dance while walking home.
I felt as if i was enlightened.
My worries were gone.the best part was i felt really very very secure.

There may not be anyone physically and spiritually around you 24hrs a day.
But you know what..God gave me that assurance that he will always be there for me.
In times of joy, and in times of sorrow. He told me he will never ever leave me alone.
i felt secure under his comfort.
I was so happy that i could not stop smiling!!

As i was reaching my block, i saw a parishoner at my void deck.
i went up and said Good night!!
She smiled and reply Good night..
she was happy, but i felt as if i was the happiest man ever.
I was so excited that i could not help passing this immense happiness to other people.

and you know what.
Everything is created through God's grace.
It is so powerful that even the weakest person will be strong after receiving it.

Thank you Lord for making me to be able to trust you.
AMEN!!